


Nightmare

by TheBigLoserQueen



Series: My TFA Universe [27]
Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Animated (2007)
Genre: Comfort, Comfort/Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Het, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Nightmares, Past Rape/Non-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-22
Updated: 2015-08-22
Packaged: 2018-04-16 14:45:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4629159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBigLoserQueen/pseuds/TheBigLoserQueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bloodshed has a horrible dream, but Thornstriker's there to comfort him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nightmare

Bloodshed couldn't remember why he was there or how he had gotten there. He just knew that he was down in some dark trench and he couldn't find any way out. The setting seemed eerily familiar too, which didn't settle well with him. He knew that this place wasn't a good place, but he just didn't know  _where_  or  _what_  this place was.   
  
He walked slowly forward, pausing only when he soft sobbing in the dark distance. Primus, he recognized the crying, but he somehow couldn't remember who it was. But the crying wasn't comforting to him at all, making him hesitant to move forward. When he heard the sobbing get louder though, he continued onwards, wanting to find out who it was and why they were weeping.   
  
Something was sitting well in his stomach tanks. He just knew that he didn't want to be here and he didn't truly want to see who was crying. Still, he found himself continuing to walk forward, though he wanted to turn away from the sobs, which were getting louder as he drew closer.   
  
Finally, he could see something in the distance. Though everything else seemed to be picture black, he could clearly see someone lying down on their back and on the floor, their sobs becoming agonized wails. Screams almost. And Bloodshed recognized them perfectly.  
  
His optics looked closer and, on the ground, there was Thornstriker. She was screaming, tears pouring down her face as she pushed at someone towering above her. But the figure wouldn't stop and continued to move above her, making Thornstriker scream even louder and arch, more tears pouring down her face.  
  
Bloodshed froze in horror as he realized where he was and what he was witnessing. That dark figure – it was him and he was… They were back in that cave so long ago where he… he had hurt…  _raped_ …  
  
Oh Primus – get him out of here!  
  
He wanted to stop the black figure above the screaming Autobot, but his body just would not move. He wanted to look away, but he couldn't. It was like something had gotten a hold of him and was forcing him to watch the crime he had committed against the being he loved most. There was nothing he could do. He could only watch Thornstriker scream and cry while the dark shadow continued to fuck her over and over and over again.   
  
No! He didn't want to see this! He didn't want to look at that horrified face – the face that he had caused because he wouldn't stop! He was sorry! He never wanted this to happen! Just make it go away! Fuck – make it all go away!  
  
He then realized that he was moving and darkness had surrounded him. But he wasn't walking or running or anything. It was more like his hips were moving and suddenly great pleasure swarmed throughout his body, making him gasp and buck. Then he realized that he was pinning something down, something small… Something fragile…  
  
Oh fuck, no!  
  
He looked down and realized that he had become the dark figure, that he had entered the dark figure's mind and body. He had entered the monster, himself… Below him was Thornstriker, screaming and crying and begging as Bloodshed continued to slam into her lithe form, keeping her wrists pinned to the floor.   
  
No! Why was he doing this?! He had to stop! He never wanted to hurt her like this again! Why wouldn't he stop?! What was wrong with him?! But no matter what Bloodshed thought, he couldn't stop himself from moving or from feeling the pleasure. He needed to stop – he had to stop! He just couldn't… Primus, why was he doing this…? He had to stop. But he didn't.  
  
Then everything faded to black, Thornstriker's screams still echoing in his audios.   
  
XXX  
  
Bloodshed woke up with a startled gasp, sitting up straight as he panted with fear, sweat coming down his frame as he trembled softly. He was no longer down in that cave, but in the hotel room he was sharing with Thornstriker when they decided to meet up in Neutral territory for a few days as they both had time off. Thornstriker wasn't screaming or crying beneath him, but rather sleeping peacefully beside him.   
  
Bloodshed swallowed. A dream. It was just a dream. A fucking nightmare… Then again, it was more like a memory… Primus, why did he dream of that now? When Thornstriker was sleeping right beside him? He felt so fucking filthy. He would never forget the crime he had committed against the Autobot, but it didn't mean he wanted to remember every detail so vividly like that. He hated himself for what he had done to the femme and he would probably never forgive himself.   
  
He buried his face into his quivering servos. Why? Why did he do it? What did he gain from it? Thornstriker had become afraid of him because of it. She had hurt the person he just wanted to protect and for no good reason. He was disgusting. He didn't deserve the femme's forgiveness, who gave it to him anyway.  
  
Thornstriker was an angel, was a saint. Someone that Bloodshed didn't deserve or even have the right to love her the way he did. Yet, he loved her anyway and was even sleeping beside her. Well, had been sleeping beside; Bloodshed was now wide awake, too terrified to go back to sleep. What if another nightmare greeted him? He just couldn't bear to see Thornstriker crying again, especially if it was by his own hand.  
  
"Mmm… Bloodshed…?"  
  
The red mech stiffened, looking down next to him to see the green femme slowly sitting up, rubbing the sleep from her optics. But he swallowed, trying to appear as normal as he could so he wouldn't worry or frighten the other.   
  
"Sorry… did I wake you?"  
  
Thornstriker shook her helm, reaching over toward the nightstand and pulling on her visor. She blinked a few times and looked up at Bloodshed, knowing immediately that something was wrong. His optics were looking everywhere but her face and he was shifting nervously. She could also see the mech tremble slightly.  
  
"Bloodshed… Are you all right?" the older femme asked, reaching out to touch his shoulder. "You look sick…"  
  
The Decepticon flinched from the touch. Thornstriker's hand stopped in midair, shocked that the younger mech reacted like that. Now she was certain that something was wrong. Bloodshed never backed away from her touch unless something was bothering him.   
  
Slowly, she drew back her hand. "Bloodshed, what's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing," the other said, still not looking at her. How could he? He just dreamt about the time he had  _raped_  her down in that trench! Rubbing his optics, he let out bitter huff. "Just... Just go back to sleep. I need to clear my mind for a little while. I'll be back." He moved to get off of the berth, but stopped short when he felt a hand grab at his arm. He turned his helm with wide optics. "Thorn-"  
  
"Please, don't even try and lie to me," the scientist said sternly, though softly. She pushed the sheets off of her and sat up on her knees, scooting closer to the bigger mech. "Did... Did you have a nightmare? You... You can tell me anything. I-I will listen to you... Please?"  
  
Bloodshed already knew that. He could talk to the older femme about anything and Thornstriker would wholeheartedly listen and try to console him as best she could. But this? No - he couldn't tell her about this. He didn't want the femme to get the wrong idea. Gently, he pulled out of her weak grip and shook his helm. "No... Not this time. I... I can't tell you."  
  
"But I want to help you," she said more firmly. "Please - let me."   
  
Bloodshed just looked away from her and down at his hands.   
  
Thornstriker grew worried. Whatever the nightmare had been - that was what she assuming it was since that made the most logical sense - it had really shaken the red mech. It was rare that she saw him in such a state, but when she did, she knew that Bloodshed was obviously spooked. But she was unsure of what had scared him and the mech certainly wasn't giving her any answers.   
  
Assuming that the Decepticon wasn't going to tell her anything, Thornstriker decided to not force anything out of him. That would only end in disaster and that was the last thing she wanted at the moment. Bloodshed didn't have the best temper, so she didn't want to set him over the edge. Carefully, she shifted on the berth so that she was in front of Bloodshed, sitting up on her knees. Then she wrapped her arms around his neck and brought him against her chassis, much to the other's surprise.   
  
"Th-Thornstriker?" the other stuttered, though he made no attempt to push her away. "Wh-What're you doing?"  
  
The green femme remained silent, simply stroking over his helm. She wasn't going to force the mech to talk if he didn't want to, but she wanted to show the other that she was there for him whenever he was ready, if he would ever be ready.   
  
Bloodshed just sat there for a few minutes with his helm buried against the other's chassis. He could hear the femme's steady spark beat, which stunned him for a bit. It was like he had never raped her. She wasn't like before. Thornstriker wasn't afraid of him, or at least not as much as she used to be. She could touch him without shaking or trembling, unlike the past where she would hesitate to even  _look_  at him.   
  
It was like this a wave of relief had rushed through him. Thornstriker was holding him, hugging him without fear, despite the horrible crime he had commited against her. The scientist should have been damning him, but she wasn't. She was  _hugging_  him.   
  
Thornstriker smiled a bit when she felt the bigger mech's arms wrap tightly around her, bringing them closer together. She could still feel the mech tremble, though it had lessened significantly and that alone soothed her worries. She stroked over his helm and whispered, "It's all right, Bloodshed... I'm here. Everything's all right."  
  
Bloodshed just held her tighter. The warmth of her body up against his was way more comforting than taking a walk around the hotel alone. Then he swallowed as the nightmare - or was it the memory? - slowly crept back into his mind. He knew that he couldn't keep this to himself, but... How could he possibly tell Thornstriker without scaring her? Or worse... Making her hate him? Damn him? Maybe it was paranoia, but damn it - he just didn't want to lose this femme again. He had already fucked up once. If he messed up again, it would ruin everything.   
  
"I..." Then he swallowed, shaking his helm as he started up again. He had to tell her. Thornstriker had a right to know, even if Bloodshed was afraid of her reaction. "I never... You know I regret what I did to you... right?"  
  
"Of course," she whispered softly. "You tell me all the time that you regret... Why?"  
  
Bloodshed hugged her a bit tighter, Thornstriker's optics widening at how tight the grip was. But she did not reject it as she didn't want Bloodshed to get the wrong idea. She just continued to stroke the back of his helm and waited for him to tell her what was wrong.   
  
"I... I had a dream... About... About that time."  
  
Thornstriker titled her helm a bit, pulling back to look at him with a confused expression. "What time?"  
  
Bloodshed looked away from his beloved Autobot, ashamed at what he had remember. Then, in a soft and cracked voice, he whispered, "Down in the trench... where I... where you were..." He just couldn't force the word out of his mouth. Slowly, he peaked up at Thornstriker's expression and with that one look, he knew he didn't need to say it. Thornstriker understood him perfectly.  
  
The scientist just stared at him with wide optics. Oh… It had been  _that time_  Bloodshed had dreamt about it. She swallowed and turned her gaze away from him, shocked that that had been the nightmare Bloodshed had had. Primus, she knew how much Bloodshed was still condemning himself for what he had done and this dream would do nothing to help him.   
  
But she couldn't bring herself to say "It was just a dream" because it wasn't. That really happened. Bloodshed had raped her and didn't show her any mercy. She bit her bottom lip as memories tried to resurface, her spark rate picking up as she thought about what the mech had done to her so long ago…  
  
"Thornstriker, please," the larger mech whispered desperately, his servos at her shoulders as he tried to look at her. "P-Please, I… I never wanted to hurt you… I-I never wanted… Fuck, I know it's all my fault, but please… Don't hate me… Please…"  
  
Thornstriker swallowed, pushing the memories back as she looked at the other's hopeless and distressed expression. Bloodshed would regret his actions until the day he died. Even then Thornstriker knew that the red mech's soul would always be haunted by the crime. Take a deep breath, she looked back up at Bloodshed and gently seized his face, stroking over his cheeks.  
  
"I don't hate you," she said softly. "I've never hated you… even after that. I was just… afraid. But I know now… How much you regret it and how much you love me… Please… The past cannot be changed, but I-I don't want you to beat yourself up over it like this. I… I don't like it."   
  
Sheepishly, she leaned forward and barely pecked his lips with her, retreating quickly as she blushed a bit when she saw the other's deadpan expression. She wasn't sure if that made the other feel better, but at least she had tried to comfort him. She had hoped she had done all right.   
  
Bloodshed inhaled before letting out a deep, almost relieved breath. He still could feel the guilt stabbing at his spark for what he had done, but it had faded significantly as he gazed upon the gentle look in the Autobot's optics. Hesitantly, he leaned down to kiss the femme and lightly pressed his lips on the other's. Quickly, he pulled back to make sure that he hadn't done something the other may have not have wanted.   
  
But Thornstriker just wrapped her arms around the red mech's neck and pulled him into a deep kiss, her glossa shyly licking his lips. Stunned that Thornstriker was the one being forward, Bloodshed's parted his lips and groaned when the other's glossa slipped into his oral cavity. Immediately, he wrapped his arms tightly around the lithe frame, pulling her into his chassis as he deepened the kiss.   
  
Thornstriker moaned and gripped onto his back tightly. It was surprising. Truthfully, she should have been afraid of such passion, especially if it was coming from Bloodshed. But she wasn't scared. Bloodshed didn't scare her anymore. Was she wary? Yes, but when she looked at Bloodshed nowadays, she no longer felt afraid of him. She trusted Bloodshed to not hurt her again, to cherish her, and to love her.   
  
Bloodshed pulled back first, both of them panting heavily as they tried to regain their intakes. Thornstriker was blushing brightly, trying to look away but couldn't as Bloodshed held her face still. Gently stroking the burning red cheeks, Bloodshed whispered, "Thank you… For everything. For forgiving me. For accepting me. For… For just being with me, even after I did all that to you… I–"  
  
The scientist stopped him by pressing a finger against his lips, shaking her helm. "Bloodshed. Don't. I already know."  
  
The Decepticon stared at the other for a few moments before slowly nodding. He then allowed the older femme to coax him to lay back down on the sheets, optics widening when the green femme cuddled against his chassis after putting her visor back on the end table.   
  
"Thornstriker…?"  
  
"Go back to stassis," she murmured softly, stroking over his chassis. "I'll be here the whole time… Everything's all right, Bloodshed. I promise."  
  
Bloodshed just looked down at the femme and nodded. He simply watched as the Autobot fell back asleep, running his servo lightly over her cheek.   
  
This femme was an angel, a savior to him. Why had she been granted to him? Perhaps he would never find out the answer. But he was grateful and would always be so. She drove the nightmares, his anxieties, away. Things just felt better around her. He loved her and even if Thornstriker never felt the same, it would be okay. Just as long as she was by his side, everything would be fine.


End file.
